Step Into the Light

Here we are, you and I, living in extraordinary times that just a year ago we could not have predicted or imagined; Mid-Pandemic, post election, crumbling norms, disrupted childhoods, deepening debt and even deeper depression.  Indeed, you and I are sharing a strained and strange time. Our statesmen and women, our church leadership, even our families and colleagues are calling upon us and one another to exercise greater patience, expansive humanity and even greater strength and wisdom, “For such a time as this.”

Our lives are in a chaotic flux and we are reminded to take care of ourselves and to watch over one another. We are being warned of an impending dark winter of continued isolation and waiting. Nothing seems to be as it should.  If ever there was a place of darkness, with uncertainty and weeping, we are living in it.

Today, in this moment, I am feeling lost. “Where am I?” This place is familiar yet not. I know who I am but I am doubting everything. Like swimming in jello I struggle, making small progress in navigating these trying and disappointing times. Un-Holy headlines bring me to my knees.

I’ve been here before. It feels familiar, like another time when grief and illness, anger and loss, surrounded me and boxed me in. I’ve been here before. God’s Spirit heard me. Spoke with me. Revealed a way to dismantle the box, to breath again, to look up and out. Once again, I return to my self. Return to Your Self.

This is Who I am. This is Who we are together. Children of God, we are the Salt and the Light in the world , hearers and doers of the Gospel imperative to love God and Neighbor alike. We are the Blessed of the Beatitudes: we are the poor in spirit, the ones who are mourning on behalf of the world, the ones who are meek, the Truth seekers, the ones who hunger and thirst for justice in the world.  We are the merciful men and women offering compassion to the stranger and the marginalized; We are the pure in heart, the peacemakers and stewards of creation.  As reconcilers in Christ, we are those who are persecuted for doing the right thing, doing God’s will as we know it, for the building up of God’s Kin-dom here and yet to come. Heaven is set apart for us and we are set apart for Heaven. Christ calls us his disciples and followers. Rejoice and be glad in it! For you and I are blessed, for just such a time as this!

In my prayers, I hear God call me to Step in to the Light.

This is a season that demands deeper prayers, expansive hearts, generous hands and communities, inspired leadership, creative adaptive worship, and patience beyond our imagination.

There seems to be a marked increase in the number of diagnosed cases of diabetes among my circle of friends and acquaintances. Most of these newly diabetic men and women are Type II, meaning they will have to adjust to a balance of medications that help the body to use the insulin it still produces, along with changes in diet and exercise. It is not a diagnosis to be taken lightly. Several of my friends have been diagnosed as Type I, like me, meaning their bodies no longer produce insulin and they will have to adjust to daily injections of insulin (I wear an insulin pump), close monitoring of their blood glucose levels and real changes to diet and exercise. Whether Type I or Type II, this diagnosis most often results in a psychological, physical, and spiritual shift that translates into something akin to a west cost earthquake.

I recall the day I was first diagnosed, the day my doctor handed me a meter to test my blood sugar and told me (my words) I was now on manual drive instead automatic. Everything I ate and everything I did was going to effect my blood sugar and my way of navigating through each and every day.  I finally had some insight into what was going on with my body. The blurry vision, fatigue, confusion and feeling of panic was grounded in a very real response to high blood sugars. I recall that day. I felt as though I had been handed a death sentence, not that I was going to literally die. I had more of an identity death. The ‘body ‘part of mind-body-spirit had betrayed me.

You may be wondering what this has to do with a blog site dedicated to spiritual formation. Simply put, everything related to mind and body has a profound influence on all things spiritual. Issues of faith, trust, health, core values, vocation, even family and community flow in and through our spiritual selves. And so, I began a darker journey of trying to re-assemble myself, testing assumptions about   what was and was not possible for my future.  Part of my process included creating a short video entitled “Food and Faith.” which you are welcome to view.carrycross2

It is easy enough to accept tragedy, chronic illness, loss and other personal  assaults as a ‘cross to bear’, as if we have been personally targeted to be pressed  down by some God directed lesson, as if suffering is the only way to carry a cross.  But here is another perspective. Matthew 16:24 was the gospel text on Sunday. Then Jesus told his disciples, “If  anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” I must have read this scripture a hundred times and only just realized the distinction between picking something up and setting something down. Just maybe I should change my focus from carrying the burden of ‘my cross’, setting it down, freeing myself, mind-body-spirit, to more fully follow the lead of the Cross Bearer. 

Just as managing chronic illness is a daily business, so is the daily choice we have to put on Christ, to self identify with the Cross Bearer, to live sacramentally and rooted in the One who calls us by name and to lift high the cross of Hope and Love that is ours as Easter people. I will continue to journey through this season of Lent, remembering the call God has placed on my life, resetting my intention to remain focused on the light of Christ even as our world dwells in shadow. I will continue to journey with others, finding strength in community and our mutual commitment to a life of Christian faith.11046726_1013784178650220_298275671874258863_o



It is that time of year when holiday busy-ness is past and too soon in the day the light fades to black. Like many others I know, the winter months are some of the most difficult for me to navigate. There seem to be fewer distractions to keep my thoughts focused on my outward life and my inner life seems to curl up and hibernate. I am not a big fan of television land. I am not a mall walker or a phone talker. I am impatient with puzzles and bouts of creativity are short lived. I do find I can lose myself in books but I am not convinced that endless fantasy diving is, after all, good for what ails me. It does help the transition from day to night and even keeps me company in the middle of the night, but like I said, I am not convinced this is an entirely healthy way to traverse the season.

In an effort to break with my routine, I am sitting in a local coffee shop, Photo on 1-20-15 at 10.57 AMeven though I have already had my daily ration of caffeine. Many of my clergy colleagues use local cafes for casual meet ups with parishioners and friends. There are certain benefits to getting out into the community, to hold audience in a public place, to capture a bit of energy from others. I have no particular designs on connecting with anyone I might know. I do not announce that I am here or send out FB invites. I just sit and sip.

For about the hundredth time (probably more) I open my photo files and think, “Today I will put these in some order, delete the duplicates, discard anything that is out of focus, rename the images. I will put like with like, tag the faces of my grandsons so I can find them easier. I will think about making albums. I will.Christ Be My Light on the lake

I am lost from the start. I pull up images from the summer months; a time and a place that fills me with light and gives me an odd sense of being grounded. Some places are like that. I sit and sip      and linger. quiet reflection on the dockI  remember the sounds of the lake, water stroking  the shoreline, wind in the branches of the birch, the  thrum of a hummingbird at the feeder. I recall the  spot along the path where the fragrance of sun warmed pine needles stops me in my tracks and I wonder for a moment if this isn’t the most marvelous smell, ever.July 11 2009 026

When is the last time you stood barefoot on the earth and felt your own pulse in your feet? Did you notice the way your toes grip the soil as if they could root themselves where you stand? Everyone needs a place to feel connected with the earth, even if it is just a postage stamp of grass in a park. Can you remember a time when you simply stood barefoot on the earth?

trinity of pond lilliesI cannot see the long stalks of the water lilies buried  in the silt and mud of the lake bottom. Hidden are the  turtles, frogs and fish that weave between the green  shoots. I can only close my eyes and feel the drifting  of the boat.

Summer days are expansive, long and lingering, compared to the days of winter. My photos remind me of a certain awareness I had while storing up what I would need for my self imposed hibernation. I am nearly half way through it. As I click through a few more images I take another sip of my tea, look about and notice the seats are filling up around me. Where has the morning gone? I am breathing a bit more freely and feeling lighter. I am. It’s time to go home. The photo project will have to wait for another day.

time to reflect boat on dock

Come Near and Listen

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Advent 2013

Gracious God, it feels good to be in your church, together with people I love, my faith community.  Here, I am at home, surrounded by warm friendships and life long support. I relax into the rhythm of worship as I listen to familiar scripture, re-telling the story of Jesus’ birth, and drink in the sounds of singing and prayer.

Words like longing, waiting, preparation, expectancy are woven in and through the garlands of the advent wreath, holding a place for the hope, peace, joy and love that is promised.

Help me prepare my heart as faithfully as Mary, to be a place of welcome and hospitality, awaiting a renewed presence of Christ in my life. Embolden me to offer your radical hospitality to those who are not yet at home in your church.

Help me be as obedient and trusting as Joseph, as I journey through my days, by faith, taking nothing for granted.

Help me, Lord, to be watchful like the shepherds, seeing with new eyes the emerging light of Christ in the midst of the mundane and ordinary.  Especially let me see the light of Christ in others.

Increase my faith so I can boldly and freely share the hope and love of Christ I have come to know and trust. With the confidence of your angels, let me sing, “All Glory to God in the Highest.”

We, your church, are called to be a steadfast and watchful people. Give us renewed patience to wait for your quiet voice to reach our ears.  Give us new hearts that we may receive all the love and assurance that comes through your Holy Spirit. Increase our capacity to be instruments of your love and peace. Place in our hearts your seed of compassion, the Christ child. Like Mary, let us receive it without question, saying with confidence, “The Mighty One has done great things for me___ Holy is God’s name.”


A practice room in Phillips Music Hall becomes a temporary sacred place of refuge.

Earlier this month, the New England Conference of the United Methodist Church gathered on the campus of Gordon College for it’s Annual Conference; a three day gathering of clergy and laity, for a time of holy listening, worship, legislation and learning.

Central to the work of the church is the practice of prayer. It is a privilege to work with the many gifted individuals who serve on the Spiritual Formation Initiative; a dedicated group that focuses on and coordinates conference wide spiritual formation events, throughout the year. One of our contributions is providing resources for the Prayer Room which is made available for individuals to engage in prayer, meditation, quiet reflection and exploration of various spiritual disciplines.  This year conference goers were able to read about and experience a ritual of anointing with oil.

anointing is an ancient practice of setting something apart as sacred using fragrant oils and prayer.

Anointing is an ancient practice of setting something apart as sacred using fragrant oils and prayer.


Coloring mandalas is a way to relax the mind for deeper meditation and listening.This was completed by an anonymous visitor to the Prayer Room.

A  number of small worship altars were placed around the room to inspire the use of simple objects and images to create personal  ‘sacred spaces of rest’ in the home.

A floating candle in a pair of inverted bowls add light and interesting reflective surfaces to an already serene view.

I  A floating candle in a pair of inverted bowls add light and interesting reflective surfaces to an already serene view.

A simple cloth and candle draws your attention to stop awhile and pray.

A simple cloth and candle draws your attention to stop awhile and pray.

Icons are another way of experiencing deep prayer as one is invited into the scriptural story written in the form of an icon. A beautiful blue plate on a stand makes a striking background for this icon of  the Pantocrator.


Natural materials, bits of colored cloth draped as a foundation for your altar, other items such as a cross, a journal, scripture, stones, or anything that evokes and encourages you to prayer are things to try. The important thing to remember is that we are all called to a life of prayer. We can live a sacramental life in the home when we establish a set apart place for worship and allow it to invite us to rest awhile and Be with God.IMG_0583

Just a few short weeks ago, the Christian church celebrated Pentecost. Jesus promised his disciples that he would send God’s Holy Spirit to remain with them once he ascended into heaven.  “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever — the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:16–18  This event, fifty days after Easter, is annually celebrated as the “birth” of the church.  The symbol of the Spirit is depicted in two familiar ways, as an ascending white dove and/or as tongues of flames. “When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Acts 2:1–4  The color red dominates the liturgical paraments.

Our spiritual life is predicated on the expectation that the Holy Spirit does indeed abide in the hearts and lives of God’s people. It is the Spirit that inspires our faith, conspires with us in our Christian work and is our very breath (respiration) in the midst of prayer. Next week, the New England Conference of the United Methodist Church will gather for its Annual Conference, a gathering of all elders along with an equal number of appointed laity. For three days, we will engage in what John Wesley called Holy Conferencing. We will join in worship and prayer, engage in biblical studies, share in any number of meals, ordain a new class of clergy, debate our polity and practice and generally indulge in fellowship and fun. At the center of our work shall be God’s Holy Spirit, inspiring and informing all that we do. I look forward to waving ribboned poles and lifting banners to announce the beginning of our time together and to affirm the very presence of the Holy Spirit in our midst.

Celebrating God's Holy Spirit!

Celebrating God’s Holy Spirit!

Rest in Blessing

In my small part of the world spring has arrived. Everywhere there are signs of emerging buds, and the sweet songs of returning birds. The nighttime hum of the nearby marsh assures me that temperatures are rising.  I feel lighter. I feel alive. I want to scatter seeds and participate in the cycle of renewal; to encourage and nurture life in all its forms. I am filled with the presence of God in all I see and touch and smell and hope. IMAG0898 Not only is it springtime, it is also Eastertide, the fifty days that follow Easter. It is a season ripe with reflections on the resurrection story, rich with the power and possibilities for Christians to live as resurrection people. Incarnate God has come to dwell among us and within us; to save us and restore us to God’s self; to kindle within us a renewed compassion for the other; to forgive; to love, to invite us again to live as God intended. Praise be given to God. And yet, it seems, in my small part of the world humanity has failed once again. Daily, there are signs of emerging hatred and distrust, violence and threats of violence, tragic loss of life, loss of security and economic stability. We ask the ‘who, what and why’ of it.  We view the stranger with eyes narrowed.  All too soon the lightness that is supposed to be the mark of our faith in Christ is cast into deep shadow.  We question how it is that we can journey with those who suffer when we are, ourselves, overwhelmed and weighed down with our neighbor’s grief. It is hard to live as resurrection people. Still, the Incarnate God dwells among us and within us and invites us to turn and return to God. We are invited to lay our burdens down, to find refuge and rest in the One who weeps with us in our suffering and holds us close amidst our frailties and doubts.  Our desire to feel compassion and consider forgiveness is the first step in our turning, once again, to God.  We choose to participate in the healing that must come, to participate as agents of God’s love until we are no longer afraid to offer compassion and forgiveness to the stranger. It is possible to once again feel the presence of God in all we see and touch and smell and hope.

 Pray, dear Lord, let your Spirit pour over me. Flush headlines and unholy habits from my heart. Unwelcome maladies, they clutch and cling, sending me to my knees. Anoint these lesions and loosen their hold. Place healing balm on unrelenting wounds. Wrap your servant in cloths of righteousness and bring me to rest in your house of Holiness. In your time, lift me from your bed of blessing. Raise me to my feet to carry good news and hope, to become your messenger of healing and servant of all.



Is your faith rooted in God?  It seems a strange question, perhaps. If you are a “religious” person, then where else would your faith be rooted you might ask. If you consider yourself “spiritual” but not necessarily “religious” you may hedge around the question and offer a multiplicity of options for where you place your rootedness: universal mind, that which is Other, creating energy, higher presence, great spirit. Just not the G_D word.

Derived from the Latin word radix, meaning root, the radish gets its name. It is not the only root vegetable but  (so named) linguistically, it is the root of all roots. God may not be the only place of rootedness in our pluralistic society, but, so named, God remains the source of ALL rootedness. Is your faith rooted in God?

The open air farmers’ market has resumed in downtown Eugene, OR. It is a signal that a new growing season has begun. It invites us to experience the fresh renewal that is spring, to look forward to abundance and growth, to embrace what is nourishing and life giving. Live into the season, taste and see the goodness of life and remain faithful in your love of God.