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Posts Tagged ‘Solitary Life’

It is that time of year when holiday busy-ness is past and too soon in the day the light fades to black. Like many others I know, the winter months are some of the most difficult for me to navigate. There seem to be fewer distractions to keep my thoughts focused on my outward life and my inner life seems to curl up and hibernate. I am not a big fan of television land. I am not a mall walker or a phone talker. I am impatient with puzzles and bouts of creativity are short lived. I do find I can lose myself in books but I am not convinced that endless fantasy diving is, after all, good for what ails me. It does help the transition from day to night and even keeps me company in the middle of the night, but like I said, I am not convinced this is an entirely healthy way to traverse the season.

In an effort to break with my routine, I am sitting in a local coffee shop, Photo on 1-20-15 at 10.57 AMeven though I have already had my daily ration of caffeine. Many of my clergy colleagues use local cafes for casual meet ups with parishioners and friends. There are certain benefits to getting out into the community, to hold audience in a public place, to capture a bit of energy from others. I have no particular designs on connecting with anyone I might know. I do not announce that I am here or send out FB invites. I just sit and sip.

For about the hundredth time (probably more) I open my photo files and think, “Today I will put these in some order, delete the duplicates, discard anything that is out of focus, rename the images. I will put like with like, tag the faces of my grandsons so I can find them easier. I will think about making albums. I will.Christ Be My Light on the lake

I am lost from the start. I pull up images from the summer months; a time and a place that fills me with light and gives me an odd sense of being grounded. Some places are like that. I sit and sip      and linger. quiet reflection on the dockI  remember the sounds of the lake, water stroking  the shoreline, wind in the branches of the birch, the  thrum of a hummingbird at the feeder. I recall the  spot along the path where the fragrance of sun warmed pine needles stops me in my tracks and I wonder for a moment if this isn’t the most marvelous smell, ever.July 11 2009 026

When is the last time you stood barefoot on the earth and felt your own pulse in your feet? Did you notice the way your toes grip the soil as if they could root themselves where you stand? Everyone needs a place to feel connected with the earth, even if it is just a postage stamp of grass in a park. Can you remember a time when you simply stood barefoot on the earth?

trinity of pond lilliesI cannot see the long stalks of the water lilies buried  in the silt and mud of the lake bottom. Hidden are the  turtles, frogs and fish that weave between the green  shoots. I can only close my eyes and feel the drifting  of the boat.

Summer days are expansive, long and lingering, compared to the days of winter. My photos remind me of a certain awareness I had while storing up what I would need for my self imposed hibernation. I am nearly half way through it. As I click through a few more images I take another sip of my tea, look about and notice the seats are filling up around me. Where has the morning gone? I am breathing a bit more freely and feeling lighter. I am. It’s time to go home. The photo project will have to wait for another day.

time to reflect boat on dock

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It has been weeks since my last post; weeks filled with change, loss, transformation, growth, dreaming, packing, letting go, taking on, being empty and being filled. In other words, life!

One child is moving away with her family; family I see weekly and will miss terribly. One child is preparing for his wedding next month. He already lives far away and I miss him like crazy. My husband and I have been blessed to have such wonderful children, now adults, and we can’t imagine enough new ways to fill up the spaces they leave behind as they grow their own families.

A dear friend has moved away. Many clergy colleagues are reappointed to preach in new pulpits to new congregations. Their ever expanding circles of grace continue to flow and overlap and return. I pray for them all even as I know I will not see them again anytime soon. In other words, life! Mine is a life rich with relationships and love, admiration and joy, struggle and resilience, mending and breaking.

I find strength and solace when I get really quiet and listen to the sounds of the lake. Gentle breezes carry the call of the loons and the screech of young eagles in the nest, the soft sound of a fisherman’s cast, a fish jumping, a squirrel’s chatter. The light on the water is ever changing. The color of pine and blueberry scrub fill my morning and today it is enough.

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I have been quiet for a few weeks. Sometimes when I prepare to preach, God’s Spirit moves in a profound way. So it was after sharing my guiding principles with my faith community. While I have a number of projects to tend to, God drew me to a place of quiet reflection.  These periods of relative silence are fundamental to my discipline of discernment. Out of the silence, I emerge more focused and intentional. My work is more fruitful and my voice a little bolder.  

A friend’s blog directed me to Raven’s Bread Ministries, a ministry for men and women who seek a solitary life. I then read “Consider the Ravens,” a summation of posts by others seeking to live in the simplest way in order to direct the majority of their time and energy to prayer. At first look, it may seem impossible to live a solitary life in the 21st century. The reality is that more and more individuals not only seek a simple, set apart life but are able to find a way to live into a ‘hermit’s way.’

This may strike you as personally irrelevant, living as you do in a Post-Christian world, but even a cursory survey of Scripture reveals our need to have time apart for prayer and reflection; time to hear God’s voice; time to choose a life in concert with our brothers, our sisters, and creation.

In Sunday’s reading from Isaiah 49:8-16a, God meets the needs of God’s servant: “I have answered you. I have helped you.  I have kept you.” Sheldon Sorge writes in his essay in Feasting on the Word, “Flush with a personal encounter with God’s redemptive work, the minister is equipped to go public with God’s good news.” He continues, “Those who would minister in Christ’s name must first tend to their own souls, availing themselves of God’s help before offering it to others.”

Very soon, we will enter the season of Lent. There is no better time to consider our life choices, our life styles, our personal consumer practices in light of a world where economic injustice prevails, our earth suffers, and our children trust us with their futures.

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